First Weeks with Baby
I remember each little miracle and those first few weeks at home with them. There are a few things I wish I’d known with the first child that I slowly figured out after the first couple practice kids.
Nursing. If you are plan to nurse your baby, nurse soon after birth. Your baby’s instinct is to root for a breast-allow nature to work its magic. Help baby practice a good latch early (open his chin wide), and be brave enough to seek a lactation consultant while still in the hospital. There is no judgement, and they are experts-sometimes a lesson with your own baby is worth more than all the books in the world. Prepare to cluster feed early on-it helps your milk come in and sometimes offers you a longer sleep at night!
Rest. Do not plan to have company daily, have clothes on and your hair brushed daily, or make dinner. This is a wonderful bonding opportunity, and it is rare in life that you get a free pass to wear pajamas, sleep, and not take care of everyone else. When experts tell you to sleep when the baby is sleeping . . they are sharing wisdom. A rested momma is patient and makes good decisions. Sleep. You’ll be glad you did.
If you gave birth, respect your body. It just grew a person, stretched to accommodate them, and your uterus is now healing a wound (where your placenta was attached). Take your vitamins, and eat healthy. You need lots of fruits, vegetables, nuts, and whole grains. Now more than ever, you want to be regular (straining with potty . . well, it hurts). Stool softeners for the first week are so helpful. And please don’t stress about any kind of weight loss now. There is plenty of time for that later. You will lose 10-15 pounds in the first week just from baby, fluid, and blood volume. Only speak kindness about your wonderful body. Take showers or baths-and enjoy the tiny vacation. If you’re nursing, the shower water will help with letdown and the swollenness.
Healing. Have plenty of pads ready to go (enough for five to six weeks). Your uterus is contracting . . and you are losing all that thick, rich lining that held your baby. It’s a lot. Take Tylenol if you need it, and stay hydrated. A donut pillow to sit on is a nice little luxury (borrow one from a friend?), and a peri bottle is a gift from scientists and mom-lovers…get one! You will probably get a little inexpensive plastic one in the hospital . . keep it forever! (I still have mine. It’s nice post-workout when you’re older and sweat happens down there when you walk on the treadmill.) Your body really will go back to the way it was pre-baby (and pre-ice cream, or is that just me?), it is just a slow process. Nursing seriously uses up a lot of calories if you can keep it up!
All you really need are diapers, wipes, onesies, blankets, and a safe place for them to sleep. All other things are extras. Don’t stress about having all the sizes of clothing, matching hair bows, a color-coordinated nursery completed..the baby will never know the difference. It was fun to decorate a nursery..but totally unnecessary. My babies slept in my room in a pack-and-play for the first six weeks. They didn’t even hardly go in their rooms or wear real clothes. If it’s winter, you might want some button or zip up jammies inside their swaddle blanket. If they have diaper rash, be sure to let their bottom air dry between diaper changes. Use the fresh diaper to fan their bottom after wiping. You can also let them lay for a minute to air dry while you talk or sing to them.
Learn to swaddle your baby and shush them. It is amazing how the first three months really are a fourth trimester. We went to a movie theater to see a one-time showing of Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block right after our last baby. Oh, what I wish I’d known earlier with the other three kids. It was eye-opening, and I still have the notes on my phone! I will not retell it perfectly, so watch the movie or read the book. The five s’s: swaddle (like a burrito), side/stomach (lay on their side or stomach across your stomach), shush them (like womb noises..and I even ordered the cd, my sweetie loved the vacuum cleaner and the rain sounds), swinging (side to side motions, hold them and twist your body keeping your feet in place), and sucking (sucking a binkie is soothing).
If you must get up and do work, wearing baby is an easy solution. They love to be up against you, and they may be lulled to sleep with your movement. A wrap is a wonderful solution if you can figure out how to get it fitted and secure. (Please don’t wear baby for too long in a backpack style carrier-it forces their hips open very wide.)
Take breaks. It is beneficial to go for a walk to clear your mind, run to the store alone, or just sit outside. You and baby are a package, but you still need to take care of you. Baby needs you happy and healthy. If you find yourself depressed, sad, angry, or overwhelmed, get help. Call a friend, neighbor, or arrange for a regular sitter so you can gather yourself and seek counseling. Postpartum depression is real, and you are too important to that little one’s survival to take it for granted. I can remember my husband being extremely overwhelmed and holding our baby out at arm’s length asking him why he was crying so much. It was scary for me. It’s stressful to have a new full-time job (and around the clock!), and it can get to the very best of us. Don’t be ashamed-stress comes with the territory.
Accept and ask for help. If someone offers to bring you dinner, just say, “Yes, thank you!” Don’t even think twice. They are probably mothers or grandmothers who remember how tough it was (and maybe they want to see your new baby). If they offer to pick up your other kids at school, run errands, do some laundry, or clean your kitchen, let them. This is not a time to be prideful, this is a season of rest. (And can I tell you how life-affirming it is to hold a teensy baby ball? Those first couple of weeks, they keep their legs pulled up..and they are the most precious things to hold. And they weigh next to nothing. They are also fun to photograph, pose, gaze upon, rock, and fall asleep holding...what an absolutely glorious season of life).
I care about you, your healing, and your peace. Your baby is important, and so are you. Prayers for a restful season for you.
love, mom
